Tuesday

It's Tuesday and I'm still not doing so hot. Hopefully everyone out there had a wonderful holiday though. I don't remember a whole lot of mine. I fell asleep a LOT. Though it's not really like falling asleep. It's almost like passing out. I really don't know how to describe it. I get about an hour when I can actually stay awake, and in that hour I get about 20 minutes or so where I have some cognitive function. Most of the time staring at the ceiling exhausts me. I haven't been getting the chills lately (knock wood) and I've been able to eat more real food. Yesterday I could barely eat a bowl of soup. I literally fell asleep after eating about a quarter of a bowl, woke up and ate another quarter and just couldn't do any more. Everything is foggy. I think I remember stuff, but I'm just not completely sure that any of it has happened. It's really frustrating. And today, the boyfriend was forced by his ex-wife to take his kids for the week. How great. I know I'm being selfish again, but if I can't even manage to walk from the bathroom to the living room without taking a nap (I wish this were an exaggeration, but I've even dozed off in the bathroom because I was so exhausted), I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to handle anything else. And he's hoping I'll be well enough to go see Mafia Wife and crew this weekend. Um, yeah. I can barely stay awake for an hour but I can drive for a hour and a half? Not seeing this happening. No, I'm not really contagious. Unless I coughed right in someone's face or spit in their mouth or something equally gross. But, I am still coughing up blood-tinged mucus and coughing so darned hard that I fear I'm going to lose control of my bladder one of these days. I guess I just can't see how on earth I can drive up there and impose this kind of crap on my friends. Heck, I don't know. Maybe I'll be able to get a recheck appointment and they'll tell me everything is great and I'll be able to go. I can't see that happening (I think they'll tell me I'm progressing, but not take me off the medications). And the stuff they have me on is pretty hefty. Robitussin AC (the one with codeine) for my cough and stuff. This one knocks me out. It'd come in really handy for those nights I can't sleep! And Biaxin XL, this one has my throat and tongue pretty cottony, and worse. My mouth tastes totally like metal. I haven't found anything that really helps with it, but when it gets too bad, I pop a Halls Breezer or a stick of gum. They don't help for long, the duration and about 20 minutes after, but it does help a little. Okay, my eyes are starting to droop more and more, so I should probably lay down for a bit. Toodles!