Ho hum

Just another day. You know, sometimes I'm just not sure why I even bother getting out of bed. It's always the same thing. Sit at the computer, check my email, check out the want ads on the local newspapers website, go through the local businesses to see if there are any new job postings. If I'm lucky, I get to fill out an app or two or send out a resume or two. Though writing cover letters sucks. With as many as I've written, you'd think I'd be getting better at them, but I still sit there and worry about what to say, or not to say. I'll admit it, I'm terrible at trying to sell myself. Which probably explains why I'm still job hunting. I just can't sit there and say, "Oh, I'm so wonderful, I'm so perfect!" I mean, jeesh, I'm freaking human, there is no way I can possibly be perfect! All in all, it's pretty depressing. I keep saying it, but I haven't been able to do it yet: I've got to just suck it up and go pound the pavement looking for a good ol' fashioned retail job. Yeah, I hate retail. Yeah, it makes me feel pretty sucky since I had this great job and now I have to go back to a mediocre job. I know there's nothing wrong with retail, it's good, honest work, but it seems like a step backwards somehow. I know that's a horrible, snobbish thing to say, and it makes me feel like garbage even thinking it, but the truth is, that's how I feel.

You know, when you're young, you have all of these big plans. I have pretty much made a complete mess of those plans, for better or worse. It just makes me wonder if all of this "planning" I'm doing is really planning or just hopeless dreaming. Gawds, I'm depressed. I just wish the world would stop so I could get off now. Maybe today is just one of those days where I feel worse than normal (I didn't even know that was possible!) Blech. I have got to get out of this slump!