Inspirations

It's a rather gray and dreary day here, and I'm feeling a bit down. The thought of my birthday in two days is weighing me down for some reason. It really sucks to not have the people that I love close enough to share the day with. So I feel very sad. In an attempt to cheer myself up, I've been thinking about the people who inspire me and why. It's helping, but I'm not sure if it helps because it makes me feel good to have these people in my life, or if it's just knowing that there are such people in the world. So here are my thoughts.

Mafia Wife: I don't think I've ever told her just how much she means to me. I think on some level she knows, but I really should tell her sometime. No matter what, since I was 18 years old, she's been there. I've cried an ocean (at least!) on her shoulders, and she's never once told me "I told you so." The things that she's accomplished may not make the evening news, but she's done sooooo much. And when I feel like poo, she's always there to say something to make me feel better. She's always there to listen to my rants and raves and offer advice. She never expects me to take it, nor does she look down on me if I don't. All she's ever done for me is out of her love for the people in her life.

Bobby: He's always there with a laugh. It never seems to matter what kind of crappy things have gone on, he's always there with a smile on his face. His cheerfulness is infectious. And when you feel like bawling your eyes out, it's nice to have a friend like this to turn to. Don't get me wrong, he is a fabulous listener, he offers good advice, but he does it in such a cheerful way that it's difficult to stay in a funk.

Mom & Dad: Once I finally figured out what made my parents tick, it was easier. You see, my folks are a strange sort. They're not happy when things are absolutely perfect. Maybe it's from working so hard all of their lives to get by. I don't know. But if they don't have something to complain about (like the dinner plates are the wrong color or something equally as stupid), they aren't happy. They've never criticised me, at least not that I've ever heard. They've always been there with a hug and a word of encouragement. They worked so hard at crappy jobs just so that I could have nice things. And more importantly, just so that I could have the necessities.

There are some of those famous people who have inspired me as well. That's not so uncommon, I don't think. Like Princess Diana (who, if you know me, is a sort of an obsession, but then, the entire royal family is with my family). Here's this woman, who's found herself in an impossible situation, and she managed to face it, and help others in their situations. She admitted that she wasn't a perfect human being, and she used that to help the very people who had put her up on that pedestal that she detested. As silly as it sounds, this recent infatuation with Criss Angel has been inspiring too. His thoughts and words have reminded me that sometimes just believing in something is enough. He worked very hard for what he has achieved, and through it all, he always believed that he could do it. Anything is possible. Anything.

And then there are some "newcomers" into my life that inspire me. There's little Vinny and the Train Freak. I just don't know how you can look at their adorable little faces and not be inspired. The joy and wonder and innocence there is heartwarming. Even when they're being little monsters. Bogey. Nope, still don't know what that word means to them. And honestly, I don't care any more. It makes them laugh, so it's all good. And then, I've recently "met" a friend of Bobby and Mafia Wifes. Dink's story was amazing to me. To think of the struggles this one woman endured is mind-boggling. And to survive it with her sense of humor intact, is incredible. Not only that, but she is such a generous soul. What I see her give to her children, wow. And to her friends, it's just beyond amazing. I hope that someday I'll be able to be so generous with myself. She inspires me to try to give a little bit more of myself every day. Especially on those days when I don't think I have anything left to give. I just hope that I get to meet her for real sometime soon.

Wow, that helped more than I thought it would. Yep, I cried while I was typing this (but then again, I cry at McDonald's commercials). But it felt good. It's nice to remember the people that we love and the things about them that we hope that we accomplish. It's like refocusing the camera lens of my life. Sometimes we just have to remember that it's not always a good idea to use the auto-focus feature since we can never be too sure of what we're going to get as a result.